My name is not Frankie.
Worst Moment: I met him at the conference. Throughout the week, he was excited and persistent to ski or go to the hot tub together. Friends can do those activities together, so I happily obliged to go skiing together. We became good acquaintances and, I would say, friends. At the farewell banquet, we bumped into each other and I invited him to sit with me and my friends, a group of maybe six – eight other conference goers. He had a lot of drink tickets and distributed them to my friends in good humor. He would pull me aside to the bar and playfully push drinks on me. I resisted the drinks at first but gave in shortly.
He knows that I have a boyfriend from earlier conversation and said: “your boyfriend is a lucky guy. You’re adorable.” I started to feel uncomfortable at this point and looked down, gesturing discomfort with my body. I swept this moment aside because this comment was a first offense. I felt warm inside so I got up and told the table I was going to go outside. I did not invite him but he got up and told me to wait. He followed me outside. I was shivering and he took off his jacket to place it around my shoulders while facing me. In doing so, he got very close, nearly encasing me with his arms. I told him I felt uncomfortable and stepped back: the first vocal indication and assertion. I took off his coat and gave it back to him but he refused to take it back. He said something along the lines: “you’re so pretty; I can’t help it.”
I said I wanted to go back inside because I was cold. I wanted to go back to a public place with my friends to shed his attention off me. We got back to the table at the banquet and I started socializing with my friends. He would chime in and say other comments to me quietly, telling me how cute, pretty, gorgeous, etc. I was. I asked him, “could we stay friends and just friends?” He acknowledged my question and asked to talk to me privately outside. I asked if anything was going to happen and he said no. I followed him outside to have a private discussion. He then fully confessed how much he likes me and how he can’t help telling me about how much he likes me. At this point, I am shifting my weight back and forth, feeling very anxious and uneasy as to how the situation was escalating. I told him I was nervous, anxious, again uncomfortable, and how I do not want this attention. I was visibly shivering and I said I want to go back inside, but he told me to wait and enjoy the moment.
We went back inside and I made an effort not to talk to him unless the group was also involved. After the banquet was over, my friends and I wanted to take the party elsewhere and he suggested Montana Jack’s. My friends eagerly agreed so we all went downstairs. The bar was hosting karaoke night and I tried to always have a friend nearby to talk to. Somehow, he kept on snaking his way to me, pulling me close, putting his hand on my waist. When he put his arm around me, I told him again that I was uncomfortable and stepped away.
After the bar closed, I told everyone I was going to go home and he said he was going to walk me home. I told him I wanted to walk home alone (I was staying at the Village Center and the walk is less than a block away). He persisted and followed me; my reaction was to be very guarded and I felt super uneasy. I repeated that I was not interested in him and he should spend his efforts elsewhere. He persisted and told me that we have a connection. When we got to my hotel lobby moments later, he said he would walk me to my room and I felt very alarmed. I knew that if he got to my room, I would be in a very unsafe situation. I told him to stay in the lobby and he told me “I just want to make sure you get to your room.” I asserted more aggressively that this will be where he stays and I said good night. I did not want to take the elevator to spend more time with him or to allow him to enclose me in a small, private space. I sincerely felt unsafe at this time and ran up the stairs, checking if he followed me. I ran to my room and shut the door behind me, relieved that nothing more did escalate.
I Have Given Up On: After a bit of recovery, nothing. He’s not going to define my future.
I’m Afraid: Of networking/being friends with men but I will still strive to be successful in my field.
This Has Cost Me: Peace of mind.
Something You Should Know About Me: I’m not just a victim. I’m a successful, happy person.
Is There a Bright Side? He didn’t assault me.