My Name Is Sam

Photograph of back of woman with long red hairMy name is not Sam.

I’ve been the victim of retaliation by my university and a member of the faculty who was ‘that guy’ – the ‘harmless’ one who ‘loved women’. The one who sexually harassed trainees and colleagues. I’ve been labeled a bitch for wanting to have trainees be able to go a national meeting and not have to worry that a person who has terrorizes them will be there, surrounded by his enablers. I’m okay with being a bitch.

My Worst Moment: When people I loved and respected didn’t stand up for me or understand my brokenness around this. I don’t trust and love recklessly like I once did. I am very cautious with my all parts of my heart and my boundaries.  

Screen Shot 2018-06-08 at 5.34.16 PMI Have Given Up: On assuming there is someone who is coming to help me. I honestly thought college administrators were letting this crazy person run me down to collect enough information on what he was doing to fire him. I was stupid. My college ‘passed the trash’ to another university. The administration then hired a faculty member around the same time and now he’s (quietly, of course!) being investigated for assault. The press isn’t coming to help you. The Department of Justice isn’t coming to help you. Your faculty senate isn’t coming and neither is your national association of scientists.

I’m Afraid: He’ll kill me.

This Has Cost Me: Roughly $200,000 personally and professionally about $5,000,000.

I’ve had to pass on collaborating on three funded grants I helped write because I am worn down. I wasn’t promoted and my application for tenure was held up for four years while this man was investigated. It’s funny right? I’m a witness to his harassment and my tenure is held up? I’ve had to hire a lawyer because my university hired private investigators to go thru my emails, private life and professional life.

Something You Should Know: I’m funnier than you are.

Is There a Bright Side: Nobody in my department invites me to meetings anymore!

My Fight Song: White Flag

Secret Weapon: I have unedited transcripts of his testimony and the testimony of other faculty members about him. Their words will be so much more powerful than anything I could say.